Hauswife's Hump-Day Haiku: In Defense of Matthew McConaughey

I think we know what finger he really wants to give all you haters.

Anyone else been on a Matthew McConaughey kick lately? WHY NOT? This is no joke, people.

Thanks to his share of mediocre movie choices (Contact, Sahara, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, Fool's Gold, the totally bizarre Tiptoes with Gary Oldman — wow, this is a pretty hefty list), liberal draining of the Southern Gothic/Grisham-y film trough, and somewhat-bizarre-yet-ultimately-innocuous personal exploits, Matthew McConaughey has coolly claimed the title of Hollywood Laughingstock That No One Takes Seriously. Though this Family Guy slam does nothing more than confirm my belief in Seth MacFarlane's utter lack of vision (yep, still cranky ... OK, it was funny). McConaughey's pretty much in agreement with his critics anyway.

I never had a beef with a post-Dazed McConaughey. I thought he turned in fine performances in Lone Star and Frailty. He showed off his comic timing in Tropic Thunder. And he's proved his moviemaking mettle over the past two years with Lincoln Lawyer (please turn this into a TV series!), Killer Joe, and The Paperboy.

His ascent from Shitville to "Shit, MAN, you can ACT!" (said in sexiest Texas drawl ever) has started to receive its rightful recognition. The San Francisco Chronicle's Mick LaSalle colorfully pinpoints McConaughey's sudden cinematic swerve as "practically at the Jessica Chastain stage" (uh-huh) and following "the opposite of the career trajectory of Robert De Niro, who was a genius for about ten years and now stars in movies like 'The Big Wedding'" (burnnnnnn).

You also have to have mad respect for a guy whose highest-ranking movie (the critically acclaimed Mud) on Rotten Tomatoes received 98 percent, while his lowest-ranking movie (Surfer, Dude, the movie he was ostensibly born to make) received 0 percent. That's range.

Next on my McConaughey manifest*: Bernie (starring Jack Black, reaping his own accolades for this sleeper black comedy) and the previously mentioned Mud, though I'll probably just be stewing the whole time because Michael Shannon has been short-shrifted once again. I may begrudgingly see Magic Mike at some point.

This is already longer than I intended for a short midweek post. Let's get to the motherflippin', McConaughey-lovin' haiku.

IN DEFENSE OF MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY 

Don't get dude's movies?
Bring him a bock, Camilla:
Matt's earned bong-o time.

—J.A.G.

You didn't really think I wouldn't sneak my shallow kicks into this post, did you?

* SEEN SINCE ORIGINAL POST
• Bernie: Nice little sleeper
• Mud: Engaging story, fine performance
• Magic Mike: Terrible movie (but M Mc was fun to watch)
• Dallas Buyers Club: His Oscar shot — excellent (slightly more elaboration here)
• The Wolf of Wall Street: He was in it for maybe 10 minutes but earned every single one of those minutes
• True Detective: Maybe he's not The Yellow King, but he's now The King — of movies, TV, everything!

If you want more of me on Twitter, @jenngidman is where you should go.