Hauswife's Hump-Day Haiku

Burned in my brain forever.

If ever a Sisyphean task existed, it would be that of continually sending me invites to play FarmVille or SongPop or Words With Friends or the newest blight of Facebook, Candy Crush Saga. Cease and desist your solicitations — I will not answer these online entreaties. 

I kid, I kid! Well, not really. It's true I do prefer more tactile game play, with real-life human interaction, to virtual gaming. (Though is clicking a trackpad really much different than pressing down on a trapped, shrieking, plastic-bubble-enshrouded R2-D2? Just sayin'.) 

My reluctance to partake is not due to intellectual snobbery. If you saw the Internet ridiculousness I partake in when I'm screwing around for mental respite, you'd be ashamed for me, and to know me. It comes down to a) I don't need yet another oh-god-where-has-my-day-gone time suck in addition to Facebook/Twitter (the same reason I haven't gone near Pinterest/Tumblr/soap operas/porn), and b) I'm a video game addict.

I'm a child of the '80s, which means I grew up suckling on the teat/joystick of the Atari 2600. This resplendent wood-grained console (just four switches to Valhalla, people!) was considered more valuable than any family heirloom in the rec-room* curio. This is what the 2600 looked like, because I'm a type of microprocessor Pitocin, intent on inducing an insane midweek flashback:

This particular console also looked suspiciously like the Cablevision box from that same time period, which means "designer" James Dolan was obviously trying his hand at more than Little Feat covers:

When it comes to my nostalgia for this particular gaming system, I think Black Francis says it best:

I know, there are a lot of disparate links and vids and pics going on here. I'm appealing to the short attention span of Today's Young Person. I give the people what they want.

Anyway, after conquering the 2600, I moved on to the Atari 5200, then to the Nintendo**, on which I solved all three original "Mario Bros." games, much to the chagrin of the college professors whose classes I blew off to achieve such lofty goals. Flash-forward to 2009, when the Wii system entered my life (I bought it for my kids for Christmas, played it once, then broke my arm a week later). The Xbox infiltrated in 2011. This new little black box has mainly been co-opted by "Minecraft," complete with comforting New Age-y music to soothe a fragile mom's soul.

I can't help but gravitate to my roots, though. Today's theme, therefore, is ...

THE ATARI 2600

Let me console you:
All that Pac-Man and Q*bert
Gave you good callous.

—J.A.G.

If you want more of me on Twitter, @WarriorHauswife is where you should go.

* We did not have a rec room. But I had friends who did. I slept over their houses a lot.

** "Adventure Island" is the hardest fucking game ever invented, for ANY game system. I defy you to tell me otherwise.