Tomorrow my son turns 9. I was going to write today's post about how he and his sister have been my greatest creations, how they're the joys of my life, what it means to be a mom. Something very gushy and momlike, because that's one of the perks of being a mom — you can indulge such outrageous mommishness, and people will simply shake their heads and sigh, knowingly, "Ah ... MOM."
My kids have been my greatest creations, they are the joys of my life, and I'm looking forward to celebrating my son's last year in the single digits on Monday. But today my thoughts are with another mom (and dad and sister and grandmother and friends) whose son brought joy to an entire community with his infectious smile, incredible work ethic, and damn good egg sandwiches.
Pete Fedden made breakfast and lunch for my hometown every morning for at least the past 12 years, by my count. I'm sure he took a day off now and then, but he was there pretty much every time I stopped by for my greasy morning repast, taking orders, pouring the coffee, chatting up the regulars. He started working at Commack Breakfast (old-timers remember it as Danny's) when he was a teen, and eight years ago he bought the place outright instead of continuing on to law school. Every year around his birthday he would shave his shaggy dark-brown moptop to raise money for St. Baldrick's, a foundation for kids with cancer.
There's no point in describing in great detail what an impact Pete had on the people who knew him, both intimately and peripherally. If you didn't know him, the words will be just words, and if you did know him, you already know what I'm talking about. I didn't even know his last name until this week, when he died in a car crash at the age of 29, and I didn't know much about his life outside of Commack Breakfast — but I knew who Pete was after I ordered my first double special from him.
Newsday doesn't let you read its things unless you give it money, so I'm pasting the article about him below. There's a lot from his mom in there, and my heart especially breaks for her. Her son was exactly 20 years older than my own — too young for this to happen and make any kind of sense to the people who knew and loved him.
Peace to your family and friends, Pete — I'll miss starting my weekends with you.
Commack Breakfast owner Peter Fedden, 29, dies
Peter Fedden always said he was going to be a lawyer.
So when the C.W. Post political science major announced eight years ago that he'd decided to switch tracks and buy the deli where he worked part-time, his mother's first thought was, "Oh, no you're not."
He said, "But mom, you're the one who always told me that you have to love what you do. And this is what I love," Fedden said, according to his mother, Nassau County court stenographer Kathi Fedden.
Fedden, 29, of Commack, died Wednesday after his car ran through an intersection and into a building in Hauppauge. No one else was hurt in the accident and police are still investigating.
"He was just larger than life," his mother said. "Everybody loved him."
Buying Commack Breakfast meant finishing college at night, borrowing money from his parents and working seven days a week, she said. But it also meant spending all day interacting with folks from the neighborhood. And that's what her son liked best.
"Someone he knew would come in and he'd say, 'Are you hungry today? I'm going to make you something special. You don't even know what I'm going to make you.' "
Fedden was born March 13, 1984, the first child of Kathi and George Fedden. He had a younger brother, Paul, who died at just one week old in 1995, and a sister, Jaimee Lee Fedden, Kathi Fedden said. Peter lived with his mom, his sister and grandmother Mary Fitzpatrick, Kathi Fedden said.
"He always said, 'I'll never leave you mom,' " she said. "His friend told me, 'I've never seen a kid love his mother as much as he loved you,' And I loved him just as much."
With such a close family, the deli soon became a family affair. His mother, father and sister all worked there part time, and even Fedden's grandmother cooked bacon for the customers, Kathi Fedden said.
Fedden made it a priority to help others, his mother said. At least once a year, around his birthday, he would shave his head to raise money for the St. Baldrick's Foundation, which funds research on childhood cancer.
On the day after he died, the windows of Fedden's restaurant were dark. "Our Beloved Peter Passed Away," a handwritten sign said. "God Bless His Soul."
Viewing for Fedden will be at Commack Abbey Sunday from 2 to 4 and 7 to 9 p.m., his mother said. A funeral Mass will be celebrated Monday at 10:45 a.m. at St. Matthew Roman Catholic Church in Dix Hills, and burial will be at St. Charles Cemetery in Farmingdale.
In addition to his mother, sister and maternal grandmother, Fedden is survived by his father, who lives in Deer Park, and his paternal grandmother, Lorette Fedden, of upstate Newburgh.
In lieu of flowers, the family asks that donations be made to the St. Baldrick's Foundation in memory of Peter Fedden/Commack Breakfast.
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