Day 72: I'm Waiting for the Mailman: Excuses, Excuses

Do you think this guy sat around and watched The Bachelorette, or do you think he captured bears on icebergs, rescued Icelandic castaways, and conquered new lands? Thought so.

I'm the master of coming up with reasons for not exercising. While I always feel rejuvenated after a couple of miles, it's difficult for me to conjure up the motivation to get started. Justifying my lethargy becomes quite easy when I'm able to concoct enough valid reasons for why it would be better for me to skip my workout in lieu of A, B, or C.

Except that there's always going to be an A, B, and C causing interference, and I know that people who successfully reach their fitness goals learn to work around A, B, and C. My excuse list extrapolates past A, B, and C and extends all the way to the end of the alphabet and then some.

Let's identify the prime offenders and present some valid, self-driven rebuttals (kind of like that angel/devil thought bubble Tom Hulce experiences in Animal House) so I can expose these lame excuses in the harsh light of the Warrior Dash day. Because I don't think Leif Ericson made excuses, did he?!

I'm too tired. You're always tired. You're an insomniac who drinks too much caffeine, goes to bed too late, and then plays mind games with Mr. Sandman for at least another hour, sometimes more. You will probably always dwell among the living dead, so in the interim, drink a Red Bull and embrace that exercise will probably help you feel better and sleep better, which means more energy for more exercising.

I'm too hungry and am afraid my low blood sugar will cause me to pass out while I'm running. OK, you had gestational diabetes and had to prick your finger five times a day and can talk circles around Bret Michaels about ketones and glucose and wah wah wah. That was four years ago. The diabetes is gone. Eat a frickin' banana and some yogurt and get your butt on that treadmill.

I'm too full. Work out later. When you're not full. Do not eat anything else in the interim so you can drag out the excuse.

My head (or some other body part) hurts. Advil is pretty awesome, especially when you take four of them. Everything will stop hurting, and you will be able to run like a gazelle.

I've got work to do. Who doesn't? Work will still be there when you're done. And you'll feel better and more energized to do even more work, you crazy workaholic you.

I should be doing something domestic around the house. Why start now? Nice try, though.

I have to start dinner. No, you don't. You have a husband who loves to cook and does a better job than you. So relinquish the colander and cutting board and get going.

I should be playing with my kids. While probably the best excuse you've offered so far, your children will be able to entertain themselves for the whopping 30 minutes you'll be boosting your heart rate.

It's 9 p.m. and there's a pint of Häagen-Dazs and a good movie/The Bachelorette/a COPS marathon about to start. Really?? Really??

I should be taking the time to think about my goals and what I want to do with my life. If you can't even carve out a half hour to do some basic cardio, you will never achieve any of your other goals, loser!!